How to avoid Valentine's Day missteps

While the origin of St. Valentine's Day is steeped in myth and legend, the ritual of the modern American Valentine's Day is held captive to chick flicks, love songs and Hallmark.

These rituals are comprised of large, expensive, overt gestures designed to demonstrate one's love: expensive dinners in crowded restaurants with overworked staffs, mass produced cards and pre-boxed jewelry. It has become so passe. If you don't know what you get, ask her, and if you can't ask her, ask one of her friends. A lot of women are under the bad impression that you should know, if you paid attention that you would know and if you cared you would have figured it out. In 20+ years of dating, I haven't met a mind reader yet...ask her, just ask.

These are some, shall we say, principles to let her know you love her, appreciate her and value your relationship:

Think, don't be a dumbass
If she doesn't own any stuffed animals, do you think she'll want a teddy bear for a gift?

Be creative, the same old thing is old as hell
Do you like to eat the same thing for dinner everyday? Then why do you buy the same gift, or a variation of it, every time there is a special occasion?

You get what you pay for, and cheap gets you the couch
Why do you think you have to break the bank? The poorest man can give the best gift if it's thoughtful (no. 1) and creative (no. 2).

It's about her, don't be a selfish prick
Give her what she wants, not what you want her to have or what you think she will like. If her favorite flower is calla lilies, then don't buy her roses...remember first principle.

And lastly, live the golden rule
Simple one, treat her the way you want you to be treated. This does not mean leaving her alone so she can sit in front of the TV for eight hours...remember fourth principle.

In case you're wondering, jewelry, flowers, dinner, chocolates and teddy bears don't do it for me. Don't get it twisted, I am a girly-girl and want you to shower me with gifts, fine dining and bouquets of exotic arrangements. I want them because you want me to have them, you know I deserve them and you want to give them to me. I don't want them because the calendar told you it's time to give them to me. I don't want them because you're trying to make up for not giving them to me the other 364 days. And I don't want them if you don't have a heart for me or us.